Chocolate Sweets
by raphiellxcasteil321
Summary: After an accident leaves Nick Fury unconscious, the Avengers decide to try an unconventional method of reviving him. What does Nick dream of while inside his own mind?
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long day of crimefighting and Nick Fury had just fallen asleep in his new waterbed in the Avengers Tower. Jarvis was tucking him in when he heard the phone ring. "Who the fuck is calling at 2 AM?" he yelled at the caller. "Nick just went to sleep omg" It was Loki he was freaking out.  
"JARVIS PLS HELP ME I'M IN JAIL AGAIN" Loki was crying so hard like thie little green bitch he was. "Tjhere's a riot going outside and it wasnt my fault I'm being framed please pleas help me"  
Jarvis didn't believe him for one sec bc he is British and smrt than Loki "Okay he said with much sarcasms, "what happened this time?"

"Dat psychobitch Mustique went fucking crazy, she was rambling about some fic talking crap about her with Harry Potter, I don't understand but she's pissed!"  
"Okay well I aint bailing u out again so just sit tight and I'll get this shorted out" and with that he hang up and yell at the Anveger nd Nick to wake up, "Get up Nicky-boo its time for work"

Nict tried to shoot him but Jarvis donged it like a ninja so Nick said something NC-15 rated and got up to kick some ass.

Mystic and her gangbang of anry supervillans was trashing the city and protesting for all the horrible fanfics ppl be writing about them. She had the help of Doc Ock, Iron Monger, Red Skull, Sebastian Shaw, Black Cat, Green Goblin, Dr. Doom and The Hood and Deadpool was there trolling everone. they ahd kidnapped a teenage yaoi fangirl and being mean to her. When the Avegners arrived a fighte nsued and they were outnumbered, and

Nich was trying to beatbox up Red School when suddenly Hoodie smacked him with a chair from behind. He fell to the ground and his gun fired and shot Green Goblin in the eye so his air scooter freaked out and ended up hitting everyone like dominoes. Then it explpoded and the building cauthg fire so Tony grabbed the girl and Natasha dragged Nick the hell out of there cuz he was unconsience. The rushed him into the hospital hoping the cute nursies would fix him all better lol.

"Im sorry" a big boobs nurse said "but your frand is comatose lol we have no clue" Thor started crying bc Nick was like a father to him…  
"well what tf do we do now? we can't be avenging without our boss" Tony whispered  
Natasha was smartest of the Avengers but not as smart as Jarvis and she said in a Russian way "Sometimes coma ppl dream so maybe if we can get him to stop dreaming, we can have him back!"  
Bruce nodded "Ya and maybe we can give him nightmare so he'll wake up extra fast. brb I have a machine that can help" so he went to the Avengers Tower and brogught back a machine that he connected to Nick's head.

"Bruce wtf, thats just an EEG monitor it's not gonna do crap" Natasha grred  
"It WAS just an EEG but I made it fancy, now I just hook it up to this TV like so… and... "

Suddenly there was a picture on the TV… It was Nick's dream! They could watch it IRL to help him! Natasha was jealous cause maybe she wasn't the smartist after all. Then they all pulled up chairs and blankets and hot cocoa and shighed. This was gonna be a long night…


	2. Chapter 2

"Where the fuck am I," Nick questiined, lookeng ariound his was all spychedelics and shit. "Oh shit," he realized all of the suddens… "It's the 70s? I traveled back in time, wtf?!" He grrred bc he had things to do in the present and had no time for this horsing around bs nonsense. "And if this is 70s, then that means tha..-"

: _HEY HET HEY_ " boomed a loud af voice.

Nicky frowned. "Oh hell no" he said and he ran off. "Thank god this mf can't run for hsit!"

Meanwhile back in he hospital, Tony stared in disbeliefs. "No fuckin way this guy knows Nick" Everybody but Natasha was like "TF is he doing here?" because Natasha dind gow up in Americka like they all did, so she was like who is that lol.

"That's Fat Albert," Steve said. "He's Nick's father…." Errbunny gasp, the drama was too much. They watched as Nick ran off to a foreste to hid from everybody so eh wouldn't get caught.

As he was going into the forest a soccer mom van drove by, only it wasn't a soccer mom, it was an old man who look liek a bear, and a guy who look like a 15-year-old fat lesbean omg. He had a nametag on an it say Ethan though, so he was totes a guy, just had an unfortunate face.

But they almost runned over Nick so they stopped and the bear came out in grrr anger, like a hemoroid, and poor Ethan was annoyed by that old jackass bear and probs embarrassed because he was throwing tantrums like a toddler whose mommy told them they couldn't have a toy in Walmart. He bear-mand tries to chase after nick, but being old and fat, he coldn't go fast.

Well eventually the manbearpig gave up and went back to his soccor mom gvan to torture Eyhan since he couldnt take it out on Nick, ad just as he started to leave, a big shitty old truck from probably the 1800s or whaever was barreling down, it had confederate nazi flags on it and Ethan was like "Omg dad drive faster, I hear banjos",,, but it awas too late!

That fat bear dude climbed out and grrred at the rednecks, who were out hunting for Bigfoot when they just happened to drive by, And being rednecks. They thought he was one of them. Ethan hid bc he though they were after him (he looked like a besbian aftera all) and they chases after him! But again, hje was fat so he wasnt fast, and they smacked that ugly bear man with hteir truck and we went flying far away, doing Ethan a solid. Nick witnessed the violinse and nodded towards ethan who sped away like a banshee, bigfeet waved as he went by to thank him for saving his ass.

Everyone in the hopsicle riim just loked at the screen like somebody told them the sky was falling.  
"JFC Nick is messed up," Tony squawked. "I think he should retire and get like therapy or something, this is carzy!"  
Thor was in deep thot, wondering if there as something to be done. "But what if… what if this isn't just a dream… What if this is actually… a retelling of his past?"  
"That might actually be the smrtest thing you've ever said," he replied.

"Hmmm," tony hmmed, "maybe it is, but how are we gonna wake him up if that's what it is? A nightmare that really happpen wont scare him awake!"

"Perhaps he needs to reluv his past so he can realize wehy he needs to be in the future" Natasa theoreticalliezed.  
"Maybe we shlould all just STFU and watch the damn movie" Jarvis said with a mouth full of popcorn.


End file.
